


Damned if you do...

by NCC1701



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: I suck at tags, M/M, Minor Violence, Mission Gone Wrong, Romance, Survival, minor language, possibly implied sexual content, title also sucks, un-betaed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2014-11-14
Packaged: 2018-02-22 12:25:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2507753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NCC1701/pseuds/NCC1701
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim is trying desperately to sort out and hide the growing feelings he has for his first officer, and is doing his best to do right by his superiors. Its not going well. Who knew a simple recon mission could go so terribly wrong?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so , this is the first fanfic I have ever written. Feedback is very much encouraged, I am always looking to improve. This will be done in chapters, and I will try my best to update about once a week. This has no beta, so if you are interested let me know. I will update tags as I see fit, though I don't see any hardcore mature content popping up. Just some language and violence, and mentions of sexual content.
> 
> Crossing my fingers that this isn't a total fail.

Jim was frustrated. They had all been sitting in the conference room for going on an hour. It had started out as a simple final debriefing that was only supposed to last fifteen minutes, tops. It was how every meeting and discussion about the upcoming mission had ended up since it had been given to them by Starfleet. 

It sounded simple enough, go down to survey the planet, report findings, end of story. The planet was placed near the edge of the neutral zone, and scans indicated that it possessed many resources and minerals valuable to the Federation, possibly even dilithium crystals. 

The only problem? The civilization native to the planet was extremely primitive, so much so that Starfleet shouldn’t even be looking into it. The fear, however, was that Klingons would find the planet, if they didn’t know of it already, and they would not be above taking over the planet and exploiting it for its resources. So the Enterprise was being sent to, essentially, stake a claim. 

The orders they had been given by Starfleet left little to the imagination. Jim and Spock were the only personnel to beam down, armed with only one tricorder and two communicators. They wanted as little technology as possible on the surface just on the off chance that they were caught by the natives. Phasers were very clearly forbidden, which was the cause of discourse among the crew. 

Surprisingly enough, Jim was the one trying to stick to orders. Not because he wanted to, or because he agreed with them, but because as of late he was trying to do right by Starfleet after the whole Nibiru incident (that he still thinks should have been swept under the rug after Kahn), and, perhaps more importantly, Spock. But by some twisted freak miracle, it was now Spock who wanted to go against orders. And now that Jim had taken his position, he was stubbornly immovable. 

“Captain, I must request of you once again to reconsider. Without proper knowledge of the native peoples and fauna of the planet it would be unwise to complete this mission unarmed.” Spock’s eyes were boring a hole in the side of Jims head, but Jim had his face buried in his hands as he tried to hold back a groan of frustration. 

“Commander,” he started, removing his face from his hands to keep his words from coming out in a garbled mumble. “I recognize your concern, and I assure you it has been noted… repeatedly. But we have our orders, and while I share your thoughts, I have little say in the matter.” As he spoke he noticed the small microscopic twitch of a frown at the corner of Spock’s mouth at the use of his formal title. Jim never used it, but the past few days Jim had retreated back into the safety of formality to avoid an ugly emotional outburst. Jim was the only one picking up on any hint that it was bothering Spock, but he didn’t know what else to do. He knew everyone on board was growing tired of this argument, and had noticed Jim’s uncharacteristic stiffness, and everyone else was just as divided on the issue as the Captain and First Officer. 

As if that wasn’t bad enough, Dr. McCoy had taken Spock’s side in the debate, nearly giving Jim a minor stroke. He was catching hell from both sides, and it was driving him insane. He swore he would never let the two agree on anything else again, because together they were a force straight from hell. There was no way for him to escape them. Spock waited to pounce on the bridge and around every corner, and McCoy knew every hiding spot and safe haven Jim had. He even went as far as using his medical override to get to Jim in his quarters. It was madness.  
Spock leveled Jim with a stare so intense Jim reflexively looked away, his gut twisting in a may lay of emotions he didn’t even want to start unraveling.

“Understood, Captain.” Or, in other words, fuck you too. 

Jim sighed, casting a look around the room and doing his best to avoid the burning stare that Spock was still sending his way, apparently trying to light him on fire with his eyes. Jim wouldn’t be surprised if he succeeded.

“We depart in an hour. Dismissed.”

A rush of rustling immediately followed Jim’s words as everyone hurried to escape the conference room before someone started talking again. Jim gathered himself slowly, too tired to rush, and when he finally rose from his chair he assumed the room would be empty, until he found himself nose to nose with his First Officer.

“Fuck Spock!” Jim yelped, stumbling back only to crash loudly into the table behind him. 

“Jim,” Spock started, but the Captain interrupted him.

“What the hell happened to personal space, I thought Vulcans were big on that shit.” Jim growled, breathless for reasons not entirely connected to being startled. He pressed back against the table behind him but refused to try to step out of the way. His heart pounded in his chest and he silently berated himself for it. He at least expected Spock to move back once he understood he was too close, but when he didn’t Jim grew even more frustrated, his heart continuing to pound wildly and his palms growing clammy. 

After a long moment he finally straightened himself out of the backwards bend over the table, standing nearly chest to chest with an apparently malfunctioning Vulcan. 

“I implore you to reconsider.” Spock’s tone was so raw Jim nearly broke, his mouth opening only to close a moment later. He swore his heart nearly stopped in his chest and he swallowed hard, trying to meet Spock’s steady gaze as best as he could under the circumstances.

“Spock, I have my orders, surely you understand that.” Jim pleaded, and for a moment he saw a brief flash of hesitation cross Spock’s face. Naturally if Jim had blinked he would have missed it, and he reveled in every hint of an expression that the Vulcan gave him, soaking in every microscopic second of it.

“Jim, I am only trying to think of your safety. As your First Officer it is my-” As Spock’s tone began to drift dangerously close to Jims pleading one Jim couldn’t take it anymore.

“Okay, Spock… alright.” Jim interrupted, deflating as he gave in, unable to keep fighting. “We will carry phasers. One each. But so help me God if you include that in your report-” 

“I will not.” Spock said quickly, his voice notably softer than just a moment ago, the tight line of his shoulders relaxing just slightly. Did he even notice he was doing it, or was it just him?  
“Thank you, Jim.” He finished, dark eyes studying his face. Jim looked back, noting for a third time the use of his name and not knowing how to take it. He usually had to beg Spock to call him Jim, but right now he was too tired to question, and too afraid to ask. He didn’t trust himself with that kind of conversation. He was not about to lose his friendship with Spock over some kind of growing affection he himself didn’t even understand. Spock was the best Officer in the fleet, one of Jim’s closest friends. Neither Jim nor the ship could run without him, and he would be damned if he jeopardized that.

“Sure thing, Spock.” He said, managing a small smile before turning and leaving the conference room, exhausted. He didn’t allow himself to look back, and once he was sure he was alone he gave a heavy sigh and rubbed his eyes. He went straight to his quarters, falling back on the bed with a frustrated groan. An hour wasn’t nearly enough time for him to catch up on the sleep he truly needed, but he tried anyway. He very nearly succeeded, and therefore nearly jumped out of his skin when Bones spoke from across the room.

“Are you still being a stubborn asshole?” He asked, glaring down at Jim as he tried to regain control of his now rapidly beating heart.

“Goddamn, what is it with you people and trying to give me a heart attack? Sure Bones, yeah, you can come in I wasn’t sleeping or anything, how are you? Damn. Did you fucking use your medical override again?” Jim demanded, though his tone of outraged annoyance probably would have had more effect if he didn’t immediately lie back down, throwing an arm over his eyes.  
“Jim, you can’t go down there without a means of protecting yourself! I’m a doctor, not a tactician, and even I see the problem with that! For once in your goddamn-”

“We’re taking phasers.”

“Life will you…what?” Bones stopped, lifting an indignant eyebrow and staring at Jim like he had just spoken Klingon. 

“We will carry phasers. One each.” Jim spoke slowly, as if he were explaining to a child, and he smirked a little at McCoy’s sudden silence.

“Since when?” He demanded, finally regaining control over his speech, his scowl somehow increasing in intensity.

“I spoke to Spock after the meeting.” Jim said simply, hoping that if he wished hard enough McCoy would leave so that he could get back to his nap. 

“The hobgoblin? You decided to listen to the hobgoblin and not me? I don’t know if I should be insulted or check your brain functions.” He definitely sounded insulted, but at least he wasn’t shouting anymore. 

“Anything else you would like to discuss, Doctor?”

There was a long moment of silence. “Fine, be that way. I’ve got more important things to worry about anyway. Like what kind of rash or parasite you’ll no doubt bring back with you.”

Jim smiled. “Can always count on you to be that hopeful ray of sunshine, Bones.”

His only response was a noise of disgust as McCoy made his way out of Jim’s quarters.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting, I had some issues with family. But I really do hope to be posting at least once a week on a consistent basis.

Jim had woken more tired than he had been before his short nap, and he stifled a yawn as he stepped into the transporter room. He was the last to arrive, Spock of course already up and waiting on the pad. He stepped up to stand beside him, turning to look at Scotty hovering over the controls like a fussy mother hen. Bones stood off to the side, arms crossed and looking sour but blessedly remaining silent.

“Mister Scott, are we clear for transport?”

“Aye Sir,” Scotty nodded, though his face said otherwise. “But I’ve got a bad feeling about this. Something’s just not right.” The Engineer shook his head and Bones snorted from across the room. 

“How many times have I heard that before someone ends up in my sick bay?” He muttered, earning a sidelong glance from both Captain and First Officer. 

“Mister Scott, are system functions reading correct?” Spock chimed in and Scotty nodded. 

“Aye, sir. Everything’s reading okay. Not perfect, but okay.” He allowed and Jim frowned. 

“What’s wrong with the readings Scotty?” Jim asked, trying to ignore Bones’ muttering about the hazards of scrambling a man into billions of pieces and putting him back together again in a different place and expecting him to be okay. 

“The atmosphere of the planet is sending my equipment screwy. Just some anomalies here and there, nothing that would prevent transport if you were going by the book, but I just got a bad feeling.”

Jim sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Unfortunately Scotty Starfleet's not going to accept that for delaying this mission. They want us down there yesterday.” Jim felt Spock’s eyes on him for a brief moment but didn’t return the glance. He was not opening that argument.

“Aye sir, I know that. Just makes me uncomfortable is all. Transporter is ready when you are.”

Jim nodded. “Thank you Mister Scott.” He said, looking to Spock in case he had anything to add. He returned Jims glance, brows drawn just a bit closer than normal, but he made no move to protest so Jim looked back to Scotty. “Energize.”

The Engineer quickly obeyed, and Jim waited patiently for his surroundings to turn from that of the ship to the solid, dense green of the forest they knew they would be beamed into. 

As he materialized he brew in a breath, instantly knowing it was a mistake. Instead of air, water rushed in to fill his airway, making him cough and sputter. He was completely submerged, unable to tell which way was up or down. He could feel himself being tugged and tumbled along with a current at a disorienting speed, panic quickly rose in his throat, his eyes wide but seeing nothing through the murky water. He thrashed against the current but with no clue as to what direction he was facing or should be going it did little good. 

He was quickly running out of air when his foot struck something solid, presumably below him. The bottom. 

Now with a bearing as to what direction he was careening he gathered his legs underneath him and shoved off, pumping and kicking his arms and legs hard for several moments before his head finally broke the surface. 

He coughed and sputtered, trying his best to keep his head above water as he greedily gulped air. “Spock!” He tried to shout but it came out more like a cough, and he yelped when a hand encircled his upper arm. 

He thrashed around, probably would have taken a swing if he wasn’t fighting so hard not to drown. “Spock!” He said again as he came face to face with a very wet, very disgruntled looking Vulcan. 

“Captain. It is imperative we swim to shore immediately.” His voice definitely held a tone of annoyance along with urgency, Jim guessed the desert dweller didn’t much care for an impromptu swim, but Jim nodded and together they swam for the shore. Spock didn’t release Jims arm from his grip, even though it probably would have made their swim a bit easier, and Jim was too out of breath to say anything. Only after they hauled themselves up onto land did he let go. 

Jim doubled over with his hands on his knees, trying to cough and suck in air at the same time while Spock hovered over him. “Captain… Jim are you injured?” he asked and Jim did his best to shake his head. 

“How’re you just standing there?” He croaked, managing to straighten as he slowly gained his breath back.

“As we materialized I happened to be exhaling, purely by chance. I assume your experience was the opposite.” 

“I think I swallowed half the river.” Jim wheezed, and he didn’t have to look to feel the eyebrow of illogic rise into the Vulcans hairline. But Spock remained silent, either deeming Jims statement not worthy of response or deciding to humor him. Either way it made Jim smile, just a little.

Reaching for his communicator, he realized with a start that it was no longer there. His other hand instinctively went for his phaser, it too coming up empty. A string of curses flew from his lips and he looked to Spock, who still seemed to be in possession of both. At Jim’s incredulous look Spock quickly explained. 

“Once in the water I gained my bearings rather quickly and reached the surface. You remained submerged for one point three eight minutes. It is likely the loss of your equipment could not be helped with the strength of the current.”

Spock’s words didn’t help but Jim recognized their intent and sighed. “Do they still work?” he asked, and a flash of doubtfulness crossed Spock’s face but he reached for his communicator anyway. 

He fiddled with the buttons for a few seconds before shaking his head. “Negative. And I believe the phaser has been rendered useless as well. There is a possibility that if we dry them out properly we may be able to salvage something, but the odds are… small.” He said, discarding the exact percentage for a simpler summarization. 

Jim grinned. “Don’t start going easy on me just because I look like a wet dog.” The eyebrow flew up again and Jim laughed. “Anyway, I hope you like camping Spock.” He said, pulling his command gold shirt up over his head, leaving the black undershirt. Spock continued to look at him as though he were speaking Klingon, and Jim chuckled. “Things will dry faster if they aren’t in layers. Besides, it’s humid as hell. And temperatures are supposed to drop below freezing here at night, and if we’re still stuck here and wet as we are now we’ll both die of hypothermia.”

After a moment Spock finally nodded and Jim grimaced. He didn’t need Spock to tell him the odds of the Enterprise finding them. If the transporter was so severely affected who knows just how off the rest of the sensors were, and with their communicators inoperable, it would be like finding a needle in a haystack. 

“So, which way do you think we should go?” Jim asked as Spock pulled his Science blues over his head, leaving his hair uncharacteristically disheveled. He didn’t answer right away and Jim forced himself not to stare. When Spock continued to ignore Jim’s question, instead focusing intently on the foliage behind him, Jim frowned, feeling the hair on the back of his neck stand up. “Spock?” He asked, turning to look over his shoulder but was stopped when Spock finally answered.

“Captain, I suggest we-” He didn’t finish his sentence, his eyes going wide in a reaction he would no doubt later deny, as he lunged forward and collided with Jim so hard they both went tumbling to the ground.

“What the… Fuck!” Jim flinched as a spear went soaring over them, not having enough time to process anything else before Spock was up and pulling Jim to his feet by his elbow. “Run!” Spock ordered, giving Jim a good head start shove before following suit and running alongside him. Jim didn’t argue, knew better not to, and did his best to run as fast as he could over the slick rocks and mud of the river bank. Instinctively he went for the tree line, desperate for some sort of cover, but was overwhelmed when they were swallowed by a vast sea of green. 

Jim blinked against the sudden loss of light but pushed forward, arms shoving what they could out of the way and the rest smacking into his face and body from every direction. He spared a glance over to Spock, almost afraid he had been swallowed whole by the jungle, and was slightly calmed when he found him still there, crashing thought the jungle just a little more gracefully than himself. 

From then on Jim just focused on running, losing track of just how long and far how they had gone. He didn’t stop until he heard Spock slow beside him and finally come to a halt. The forest around them had thinned just a little bit, still suffocating in its immense density, and besides their labored breath, everything was deafeningly silent. 

“We are no longer being pursued.” Spock said, not nearly as breathless as Jim thought he should be.

“Amazing.” Jim huffed before letting himself drop to the forest floor, the moist dirt cool as he lay on his back to look up at the canopy. Surprisingly Spock joined him, folding his legs neatly underneath himself to sit beside Jim who had an arm flung over his face. “I am so out of shape. Don’t tell Bones. That’s an order.”

Spock didn’t respond, leaving Jim to catch his breath in peace for a few moments before uncovering his face to look up at him. He frowned, a slash of green marring the left side of the Vulcans face. “You’re bleeding.” Jim stated, and was met with a lifted eyebrow. 

“As are you.” Spock responded, and Jim lifted his hand to a stinging on his temple to discover a similar injury. 

Jim groaned. “You know, I am beginning to think I’m cursed. How in the hell does this happen? It’s got to be a statistical anomaly at this point. No one has this much bad luck.” Jim sat up and looked around, a miserable expression on his face. “Why did it stop following us?” He asked, discerning nothing from their surroundings as to why their purser had given up chase. 

Spock shook his head. “I do not know. However, I do believe it stopped its pursuit roughly one mile after entering the jungle.”

“One mile?” Jim asked, giving Spock a look. “Then why did you have me running for ten?”

Spock tried so hard not to roll his eyes that it looked painful. “We did not run ten miles Jim. We ran approximately two point-”

“We ran ten miles and that’s what’s going in my report.” Jim huffed and Spock looked dangerously close to rolling his eyes again. 

“Perhaps if you followed the dietary guidelines given to you by Doctor McCoy, you would have had an easier time.”

“Now he’s calling me fat!” Jim cried, feigning offence. 

“I am merely pointing out the benefits of-”

“It’s too late Spock, you’ve crushed my ego.”

Spock openly sighed. “It was not my intention to imply that your figure is not aesthetically pleasing. I only intended to point out the beneficial merits of the dietary plan laid out by Doctor McCoy.”

Jim just looked at him for a moment, a slow grin forming at the corners of his lips. “Spock, it’s okay I get it. I have put on a few pounds since our five year started.” Jim laughed as Spock looked about ready to short circuit, speaking up again before he had a chance. “Now come on, we have to figure out what we’re going to do before we’re stuck out in the open at nightfall.” Jim rose to his feet, offering a hand to Spock who reluctantly accepted, though opting to reach for Jim’s wrist instead. Jim noticed but paid it no mind. Spock always did it, and Jim assumed it had something to do with the whole telepathy thing, or as Bones would call it, Vulcan voodoo. 

“Lead the way, I don’t trust my luck right now. I’ll probably lead us right over a cliff.” Jim grinned, watching as Spock suppressed another eye roll, and followed after him.


	3. Chapter 3

Jim was growing increasingly uneasy as he and Spock moved through the jungle, searching for a place to take shelter. What little light that had been filtering through the canopy was quickly fading, even though this planets night fall was not due for at least a few more hours yet. Jim was sure his internal clock could not be that far off, and when he looked to Spock his face held traces of similar concern. 

“A storm, maybe?” Jim asked, looking up at the canopy again though he could not see the sky through the thick growth. 

Spock nodded, pushing past leaves as long as his torso. “I believe so, Captain. Our preliminary scans indicated this planet’s atmosphere was prone to producing frequent super storms, along with drastic temperature shifts. Since we have arrived the temperature has dropped approximately five degrees, and it is continuing to decline.”

Jim grimaced, choosing not to voice what they both knew, that if they didn’t fine shelter soon, they would be stuck out in a down pour in temperatures that could very well kill them. 

They continued on in silence for a while as the forest around them grew darker. Jim was straining to see, relying heavily on his sense of touch and listening for where Spock was until something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye, a spot slightly darker than the surrounding forest. Jim stopped and squinted, looking slightly ridiculous as he strained to figure out what it was. 

Spock stopped beside him, following his gaze. “Captain?” He asked, looking for Jim’s point of focus but apparently missing it. 

“Something over there, might be a cave.” Jim muttered, not taking his eyes off the spot as he moved forward.

What they found wasn’t exactly a cave, it was a rock bar with rocks and boulders of various sizes, all covered in dark green moss that blended them so well into the forest that Jim was surprised he had seen them. The dark spot he had noticed belonged to two large boulders, one propped up against the other to form a simple kind of lean-to structure with just enough room underneath for two grown men, albeit probably a bit cramped, but it was the best they were going to find. 

They wasted no time in setting to work, Spock working to cover the two openings and Jim throwing anything he could find inside to keep them up off of the cold damp ground that would quickly become muddy when the rain started. Even as they worked Jim began to hear the patter of rain drops hitting the canopy above them, not long after feeling the drops hitting his back and shoulders. They were nearly done when the rain began in earnest, the icy drops making goose bumps rise along Jim’s arms and back as they slid down like icy fingers. 

The temperature had continued to drop, and when they finally crawled under the rock, pulling a makeshift door behind them, Jim’s teeth were chattering. He clenched his jaw to prevent the somewhat embarrassing noise as he huddled up to make enough room for both of them. It was definitely cramped, room enough for them to sit pressed side by side with their backs against the base rock, the top rock slanting down at such an angle there was just enough room for them to stretch their legs out in front of them and no more. The advantage to such an arrangement was that they would benefit from each other’s body heat since they had been unable to start a fire, but Jim could imagine Spock was less than thrilled with such close proximity. He sat rigidly next to him, their sides pressed together as he stared at the rock in front of his as if the space would expand if he willed it hard enough. 

They sat in a bit of awkward silence for a while, both deciding to don their respective blue and gold shirts they had taken off earlier. Spock managed to put his on and make it look easy, but when Jim moved to put on his gold, it felt like he was trying to get dressed in a glass box. He almost had it on when he felt his elbow connect with what he could only guess to be Spock’s forehead. 

“Sorry! Sorry Spo- Agh!” Jim growled, smacking his own forehead off of the rock slanting down in front of them, roughly pulling his shirt the rest of the way on. He glanced at Spock hesitantly, surprised he hadn’t already nerve pinched him and grimaced. “Sorry.” He repeated, offering a lopsided grin. 

Spock’s eyebrow hitched in what Jim could only guess was exasperation. “I am unharmed, Jim.”

They descended into silence yet again and after a while Jim began to squirm. He wasn’t too cold yet, but his back was already beginning to protest the position he had settled into. It was going to be a long night, especially if they were going to continue to ignore each other. 

“Bones has probably had a kitten by now.” Jim laughed, attempting to break the silence. He could only imagine the way the doctor had reacted as soon as the mistake had been discovered.

Spock looked at him with an almost expression that was as close to confusion as Jim had ever seen it. “Jim, I do not believe Doctor McCoy is capable of-”

Jim outright laughed, shaking his head. “It means he’s throwing a fit. A big one.”

Spock tilted his head, just barely a twitch of a centimeter, probably cataloging that away somewhere. “His language was no doubt colorful.” Spock agreed at last.

Jim laughed again but if faded as thoughts of his ship and his crew took over. It was driving him crazy not knowing what was going on. The fact that he had a feeling this was more than just an equipment malfunction made his skin crawl. 

“What do you think happened?” Jim asked, humor gone from his voice. The problems Scotty had mentioned before beaming could not have wreaked that much havoc, but Jim was at a loss as to what else it could be. 

Spock too seemed to be at a loss, for it took him just a beat too long to reply. “I do not have sufficient data to make an educated guess, but I do expect there is more to it than a simple malfunction.”

Jim nodded. “That’s what I was thinking. But beyond that, I’ve got nothing.”

They both went quiet again, but to Jims surprise it was Spock who broke the silence this time. 

“Jim… I apologize if I had offended you prior to this mission. It was not my intent to do so, and if I have angered you-”

Jim held up a hand. “You didn’t anger me Spock. If I got angry every time we had a disagreement this whole Captain and First Officer thing we have going wouldn’t work out so well.”

Spock looked like he was contemplating that. “Even so, I apologize for any distress.”

Jim smiled. “Thank you, Spock. Though it was Bones that was beginning to really get to me. The bastard kept using his medical override to get at me in my quarters. He was really fuming when I told him you had talked me into phasers. Really took it to heart, the poor thing.”

Spock tilted his head again. “Would that have anything to do with his comment about, ‘dancing around each other’ like an elderly married couple selecting furniture?”

Jim’s brow furrowed. “What now?”

“To use Doctor McCoy’s phrase, ‘you two have been dancing around each other like an old married couple trying to pick out a new couch.’ I now assume he had come to this conclusion after speaking with you, for he confronted me in the corridor close to your quarters.”

Jim shook his head. “I thought I told him to can the metaphors.” He grumbled, rubbing his eyes. “S’okay, Spock, he was just crabby that you got me to change my mind when all of his ranting and raving failed.”

“I see.” He didn’t look like he saw, but Jim didn’t press. 

Their conversation was interrupted by a sudden clap of thunder, and the rain sounded as though it was now coming in waves. If Jim didn’t know any better he could think he were beside an ocean. 

“Do you have enough room?” Jim asked, though he didn’t know what he was going to do about it if he didn’t. 

“Yes Jim, though I do not see where you could accommodate more.”

Jim shrugged. “I don’t know, just thought I would ask. I know Vulcans are big on personal space and all.”

“Your proximity is not disturbing.”

Jim nodded. Not being disturbing was a good thing. “Great.”

More silence ensued, and it seemed as if both men were at a loss as to what to bring up next. 

“So… How’s Uhura? Hadn’t gotten much of a chance to talk to her this past week.” Jim didn’t know why he asked. It was the first thing his brain had considered a good idea to blurt out, so his mouth had followed suit without waiting for his permission. 

Spock peaked an eyebrow. “The last I had spoken to her she seemed adequate. Why do you ask?”

Jim shrugged, a bit confused. “I don’t know… just kind of what friends do, ask how significant others are doing and…” Jim wasn’t sure where he was going with that.

“Nyota and I are no longer in a relationship, though we remain close friends.”

“Since when?” Jim asked, turning to face Spock as best he could and managing to smack his head off the rock again as he did. 

“Four point three months ago. It was a mutual decision.” 

“Why?” Another rogue outburst he had not given his mouth permission to utter. 

Jim hadn’t expected Spock to answer but he did so with little sign of discomfort. “As a Vulcan I require some amount of mental compatibility and while Nyota’s mind is dynamic it was not suitable for any sort of bond to take place.”

Jim openly stared for a long moment. “Oh… I’m sorry to hear that.” He finally managed, not knowing what else to say. 

“As I said it was a mutual decision and we still remain friends, therefore there is nothing to be sorry for.” 

Jim nodded, still a bit taken aback. How had no one told him about this? Of course that didn’t change anything. Just because Spock was single, that didn’t negate all of the other issues that came with having a thing for your Vulcan First Officer. If Uhura’s mind hadn’t been compatible, then Jim was damn sure his wouldn’t be. 

“You seem distressed.”

Jim jumped, looking back to Spock after realizing he had zoned out a bit. He was giving him a funny look, and Jim gave a quick grin. “Nah Spock, just tired. Zoned there for a second.” 

Spock continued to study his face. “Perhaps you should try to acquire some sleep.”

Jim barked a laugh. “In here? I think I would have a better chance of falling asleep in a Klingon holding cell. If my back’s not broken before morning I’ll count myself lucky.”


End file.
